1) Do not settle. Settling is a discredit to yourself, and to the other person. There may be the perfect match for THEM out there.
*I have done this many times over the years. In the moment, especially when you are young, you feel passionately for someone, but come to find out, they were never there for you when you really needed them. You never listened to your gut, and your questioned whether you were truly happy or not.
2) Do not assume everyone is your friend, nor do they want to hear your personal sagas. Genuine, honest, and trustworthy friendships are a rare find. Not all of your “friends” have your back, nor are they reliable confidants.
*There is a huge difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I learned this brutal reality after Bailey was diagnosed with autism. It was my lowest point, rock bottom. When I came up for air, and took a look around, those who I thought were my friends were gone. Lesson learned.
3) Just say NO. You will run out of steam really fast, if you are at everyone’s beckon command.
*This is still an issue with me, but I am working on it. I want to help everyone, and if I don’t, I feel very guilty. I have to stop and ask myself….,would they do the same for me?
4) Lower your expectations of those around you. Not everyone has the capacity to care as much as you do, nor will they exert the same effort. Seriously, THEY WILL NOT EXERT THE SAME EFFORT!
* I learned this is dog rescue. There are many dog lovers out there, but not many of those who consider their dogs/cats as part of their family. I am GLAD that I cannot understand this, because I don’t want to be one of those people. They are the ones that have the world fooled, the ones who drive past animals in need, those who buy their animals from breeders while others die in the shelters, and they are the ones who dump their animals on the side of the road. It is my job to educate and be a resource for the rescue community.
And two of my favorites……
9) Only surround yourself with those who will bring you UP, not down. Those who judge you, are not worth your frustrations.
Family and friends…..yes, sad, but true. If you are around a person that makes you feel small, belittled, or worse, like you aren’t doing your job as a parent, in THEIR opinion, off with their heads. No one knows the struggles you live every single day. Placing judgement on you is unfair, cruel, and NON-Christian (if you are the praying type).
10) Take baby steps. Everything comes at once…..reflect, breathe. Take baby steps, make a mental list, and tackle one problem at a time. Break it down into pieces so it isn’t so consuming.
I am still working on this one as well. I am always telling everyone how overwhelmed I am. I know they are tired of hearing this, because in their minds, I am not making time for THEM. It is about them, not about me. If they lived one day in my shoes, they would give me space and not put additional stress on me. I wish I knew a way to word how my life is, without hurting feelings or coming across like I don’t care. I would love to spend more time with my friends. I would love to spread out, relax and chat on the phone. My life doesn’t allow this anymore. It is what it is, and I am doing the best that I can.